Fairness for Reptiles
Dec. 11th, 2025 11:45 am
In case you haven't noticed, conversations here and on my blog can get pretty strange sometimes. Yesterday was no exception. On the weekly Covid open post, we ended up discussing the way that Franklin the Turtle (an iconic Canadian children's book character) has been picked up gleefully by the meme artists of the populist right and used in ways well designed to get howls of outrage from Canada's liberal elite. The obligatory comment about evil reptilian overlords duly appeared, and it occurred to me just how unfair it is that we blame reptiles for the behavior of, say, Bill Gates. When I was a kid I used to keep pet snakes and lizards, so I'm fairly familiar with the behavior of reptiles. My experience is that, unlike certain plutocrats we all could name, they're not malevolent, power-mad, or crazed with insatiable greed. If you keep them well fed with mealyworms, they curl up under the heat lamp and doze off, radiating a sort of sluggish squamous bliss. I suppose we could try making Gates eat half his body weight in mealyworms, then stick him under a heat lamp and see if the same thing happens, but I have my doubts.
The whole "evil reptilian overlords" business, for that matter, comes from British sports reporter turned conspiracy theorist David Ickes. I get the impression that he spent too many late nights watching reruns of that dubious 1980s SF show V -- the source of the poster on the right -- in which evil reptilians from space disguised themselves as human beings and took over the world. (That's basically the theme of Icke's books.) Since I'm not a fan of either the TV show or Icke's uncredited rewrites of it, I'd like to suggest that it's time to spare reptiles the utter ignominy of being associated with Bill Gates or any of the other usual suspects, and ask the natural question that comes to mind...Just what are Gates et al.?
(Or, if you want to be a little less conspiratorial about it all, what sort of life forms do they resemble?)
I'll look forward to your suggestions in the comment thread. My theory, at least for the moment, is that they're evil space opossums. Opossums like trash, right? (When I encounter one, it's usually raiding a trash can.) The most obvious product of the people we're discussing, and the system over which they preside, is the mass production of trash. (When was the last time Microsoft released a product that wasn't total trash?) They're all marsupial supremacists, I tell you...
In that jocular vein, I throw the comment thread open to researchers into the alien biology of kleptocrats.
We are now into the fifth year of these open posts. When I first posted
It's almost midnight and
Welcome to Frugal First Friday! T
We are now into the fifth year of these open posts. When I first posted
It's almost midnight and